LONELINESS

Jesus said, "Surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age.  Matthew 28:20

"And I will ask the Father and He will give you another COUNSELOR to BE WITH YOU FOREVER - the Spirit of Truth.  John 14:16b-17

    I have experienced a lot of loneliness in my life.  Right now, living in Berlin, Germany I am often profoundly lonely.  I walk down the street and the sounds echo in a language I can't understand.  I feel as if I am alone on a planet with aliens....and when they do understand my language, my brain can't grasp this and I feel embarrassed and it is hard to to talk.  Do they wish I would speak slower?  Are they getting all my words and are they wondering why I haven't learned their language yet?

I was also lonely when I was in high school.  I went to a high school where I knew no one and I had no idea that it would be so hard for me to find friends.  I thought it would just happen.  I thought that people would just start talking to me, or I naturally to them, but that didn't happen.  When I realized, after the first week of school that everyone was completely ignoring me like I was invisible, I panicked.  I was in shock and didn't know how to handle the situation.  I called an old friend from my last school and she too was in a new school and she had already found some friends.  I asked her for advice and she said, "Just pick someone that looks friendly and try to talk to them."  So, the next day I did just that.  There was a girl who always had a smile on her face.....and rather than try and make small talk with her, I asked her if I could eat lunch with her.  She mumbled something unintelligible and then ran from me into the girl's bathroom and a friend joined her and I heard them laughing.  I was crushed and vowed to never try again.  I was humiliated.  Then I became very self-conscious thinking that everyone knew I was alone and that they must think I am some sort of oddity because I had no friends.  I couldn't bare the thought of their stares nor the embarrassment of simply being alone all the time and so I began sneaking away to the library during my lunch and hiding in one of those cubby desks so no one could see me.  But it was then that I started reading the bible.  Every day at lunch, to the library with my apple and then I would read the bible and I discovered that Jesus was my friend.  It got so I didn't mind the lonely lunch times because I loved reading my bible and spending time with Jesus.  

Psalm 68:6 says, "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families...."   I'm so glad to know this about my God.  He sets the LONELY in families.  

When Bre came to Berlin as a young missionary of 20 years old - the Lord gave her a man who was to become like a father-figure to her and his wife was a friend.  This man would take her out to eat on occasion and give her presents, just like a father.  We discussed many times how good God is that he provided for her in that way.

Yet....there are many lonely people and they have no family.  Is the Father's love enough?  Is the comfort of the Holy Spirit enough?  Jesus said that we should be GLAD that He had to go away, so that He could send the Holy Spirit to us.  The Holy Spirit is our counselor; our helper; the one who lead us into truth.  In fact.....He is the one who told me to write this on loneliness and He is the one who is directing me right now on what to write.  I really don't know what I would do without the Holy Spirit.  He guides and leads me in every part of my day.

I had a vision two years ago that has really helped me in my current struggle with loneliness.  I was at a worship house and as we were worshipping, Jesus gave me this vision.  I saw myself walking down a dirty Berlin street in a simple wedding dress.  It was pure white and the length of it touched the side-walk that was littered with broken glass, trash and dog-poop.  On my head was a wreath of white roses, fresh and sweet-smelling and walking right next to me was JESUS!  He gave me a picture of my reality which included the dirty street but what I don't see is that He is the groom and I am his bride and He truly NEVER leaves me.