Grief-bonding in Belarus

Bre, Thilo and I were privileged to visit Belarus last May and I most enjoyed the delightful villages which were so charming.  Alex (our host) drove us slowly through two villages while we, armed with bibles and tracts, hoped to find people to talk to.

We saw an old man limping along with a cane and Alex stopped the car to chat with him.  He had weathered, brown skin and white hair flapping in the breeze.  He seemed eager to talk and we listened and smiled while Alex chatted to him in Belarusian.  They talked and talked and the next thing I knew the car door was opening and the man was getting into the seat next to mine.  I felt a small hesitation in my spirit.  I saw the big bottle of alcohol he was holding and I momentarily felt fear until Alex said to me, "Kim, he has lost a son."  I looked into his beautiful, blue eyes and felt such compassion.  I said, "Alex, will you ask him if we can pray for him?"  It took awhile for him to stop talking so she could ask him and he immediately said, "Yes."

This is where we picked up the old man

He looked me in the eyes and I began to pray.  I prayed with all the hurt and sorrow in my own heart over the loss of my dear son and I prayed that the God of all comfort would be a comfort to his heart.  I prayed that he would see Jesus clearly and that he would come to know him as his Savior.  I prayed that deep peace would come into his troubled soul.  When I finished praying, I looked into his eyes and he had small tears and began to speak, with Alex interpreting, "That was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.  Your voice was beautiful.  It sounded like fresh water pouring down or birds singing in the morning...." and as he talked tears of gratitude welled in my eyes and I knew that the Maker of heaven and earth had invaded our car and had come in a mysterious, supernatural way that transcended all language.

We drove the man to his home not far away and he got out of the car, clutching the bible we had given him and promising to read it aloud with his wife.  It felt like he was family as we warmly shook hands good-bye and promised to try and make a return visit.  He was all smiles as he ambled up his walkway and we drove away with joy in our hearts.


On another day while biking through a different village we came upon an older woman sitting on her bench just outside of her house.  She was portly with big, swollen legs and she had the cheeriest, warmest smile.  The flower garden, just behind her was beautiful and well-groomed.  I kept wondering how she did so much work with her stout body and I knew she had to haul water from the village well.   Sadly I did not get a picture but her home was similar to this house in the same village:

We began chatting, again through an interpreter and we learned that she too had lost a son!  I knew that it was no coincidence.  Suddenly, I was meeting people who had lost children.  Since, that time, this has continued in my life.  I don't recall that this ever happened to me before. Anyway, when she was told that I had lost a young son, she looked startled and she jerked her head to look at me.  She looked right into my eyes and both of our eyes filled with tears and we spontaneously embraced one another.  I asked if I could pray for her, she shook her head yes and we held hands as I prayed that she would know Jesus and that her soul would find comfort in His love.  She crossed herself after my prayer and we hugged once again.  She warmly invited us to return the next day and come into her house.  How I wanted to!  How I longed to see her again but it was not to be.

"Okay, Lord," I thought as I pedaled away on my bike.  "So, I know you use everything and now I see that you are using my grief as a link to others.  It is like a stepping stone right into their hearts.  For this, I can praise you."

Fresh tears pricked my eyes as I thought of my precious son and suddenly, I "saw" his joy and I knew that he was glad that his death could be used as a catalyst to draw others to his Jesus that saved him.

And all Nations will hate you because you are My followers. Matthew 10:22

Just before Jesus sent his best friends out to the villages of Israel He gave them instructions and told them to 'heal the sick, raise the dead, cure those with leprosy and cast out demons.'  He instructed them to take nothing along on the journey, not even the smallest change.  I am reminded of a book I read by a guy named, "Brother Andrew" and how he too was sent out by his christian training school without any money.  Not a single coin.  He was instructed to depend on God alone for his needs and the results were amazing.  (You can read about it in his book, "God's Smuggler.")

After Jesus gave basic instruction to His friends, He then spent a lot of time telling them that they WOULD BE HATED.  He goes into great detail saying that they will be whipped, thrown in jail, and that "ALL nations will hate you because you are my followers".  He even said that their own families would turn against them.

 When I read those verses, it was as if I saw a huge collision on earth. When the truths about the Kingdom of Jesus are declared, there is a clash.  Light starts to invade darkness and the darkness reacts with anger.  It is almost a given.  Darkness cannot bear the light.

Matthew Henry has this to say about some of the verses in Matthew 10:  Christ foretold troubles, not only that the troubles might not be a surprise, but that they might confirm their faith. He tells them what they should suffer, and from whom. Thus Christ has dealt fairly and faithfully with us, in telling us the worst we can meet with in his service; and he would have us deal so with ourselves, in sitting down and counting the cost. Persecutors are worse than beasts, in that they prey upon those of their own kind. The strongest bonds of love and duty, have often been broken through from enmity against Christ. Sufferings from friends and relations are very grievous; nothing cuts more. It appears plainly, that all who will live godly in Christ Jesus must suffer persecution; and we must expect to enter into the kingdom of God through many tribulations. With these predictions of trouble, are counsels and comforts for a time of trial. The disciples of Christ are hated and persecuted as serpents, and their ruin is sought, and they need the serpent's wisdom.

I haven't heard the phrase 'counting the cost' in a long time.  When I was first saved in high school, during the Jesus Movement, hundreds were coming to the faith and we talked about telling new converts to 'count the cost'.  Christianity is not for wimps, it's for warriors!!  Now we say things like, "Jesus has a wonderful plan for your life" which is true and I say it all the time but we are often forgetting the other side.  "Are you willing to suffer for Jesus?"

In my mind, Jesus cannot be any clearer or plainer when He speaks about persecution to His disciples and there is no doubt in my mind that He was thinking of you and I when He spoke.  "Students are to be like their teacher, and slaves are to be like their Master.  And since I, the Master of the household, have been called the prince of demons, the members of my household will be called by even worse names!"  Matthew 10:25

A new religion is creeping into the world and it is called Universalism.  All of its members claim to be Christians and to love Jesus.  One common theme I have seen among all of them is that they long to be loved.  If they see a fellow Christian being hated, they will immediately blame the Christian and tell him that he is in the wrong.

Two glaring examples are Rob Bell and Joel Osteen.  Rob Bell was so embarrassed by street evangelists that he made a video mocking a Christian who evangelized with a bull-horn.  In my opinion, Rob just wants to be loved.  He couldn't bear that anyone would lump him in with nerdy, uncool, brash Christians.  I have to confess that I don't know a whole lot about Rob Bell or Joel Osteen but my impression with both men is that they long to be loved.  Joel takes it so far that he is afraid to even say what the bible says about homosexuality.

Don't get me wrong.  I want to be loved as well.  I can't stand it when people don't like me.  It hurts. However, I hope that I will never compromise truth for my own longings.  Fear stops me all the time from being bold in my testimony for Jesus but I want to be counted worthy to suffer for Jesus.  To be honest, I rarely suffer for Jesus and I do long to be loved when I am on the streets evangelizing.  I am sure the disciples were loved when they healed the sick and cast out demons!  So, maybe, for the Christian both sides of the coin will be true.  We will be loved and people will be grateful to us for helping to usher them out of darkness and into the light.  On the other hand, we will be hated and sneered at.  The worst I usually get is cursing, jeering and contempt and that is when I say things like, "Jesus is God" or "Jesus is the only path to salvation."  The light of my words hits in the darkness of others and demons rise up to the challenge.

To sum up:  If we are receiving no persecution for our faith, are we making our lives too comfortable? We should not be embarrassed of our faith or be afraid of being hated.  We should always stand up for Jesus and be true soldiers of the cross.

“I could not help but think that somewhere along the way we had missed what was radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable.” 
― David Platt, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream


“When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.” 
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship

Spurgeon talks of the perseverance of one open air preacher, John Furz, who encountered a bit of opposition when he preached.

“Once recommenced, the fruitful agency of field-preaching was not allowed to cease… The preachers needed to have faces set like flints, and so indeed they had. John Furz says: ‘As soon as I began to preach, a man came straight forward, and presented a gun at my face; swearing that he would blow my brains out, if I spake another word.
 However, I continued speaking, and he continued swearing, sometimes putting the muzzle of the gun to my mouth, sometimes against my ear. While we were singing the last hymn, he got behind me, fired the gun, and burned off part of my hair.’

“After this, my brethren, we ought never to speak of petty interruptions or annoyances.” 
—From Charles Spurgeon’s sermon: Open-Air Preaching—A Sketch of its History and Remarks Hereon