HIS FACE IN THE CLOUDS

Tel Aviv

ToTheStreets International was on our second trip to Israel and this time around we were anxious to hit the streets hard with the gospel.  We knew someone who had freely preached on the streets in Jerusalem and so we knew that it was possible (to preach) despite all the protests from different people.

We arrived in Tel Aviv and planned to stay there for a few days before leaving for Jerusalem where we had booked two rooms in the home of a missionary.  We had met her two years earlier and had been exchanging newsletters from that time on.  I was relaxing on my bed in our hostel when I got an email from her which said,  "Kim, can you find another place to stay?  My current roommates do not feel comfortable with your coming.  I will be gone and they are afraid you will bring trouble through your evangelizing.  Thanks for understanding."  

To say I was shocked is putting it mildly.  I was hurt, puzzled and bewildered.  Before journeying to Israel, I had looked and looked for a place to stay in Jerusalem that was affordable for us.  Finally, I realized that her home was the cheapest for us (even though it too seemed expensive) and I was so thankful when she said we could come.  She knew that we do evangelism and she agreed to our dates and did not express any concern until just before we left Germany.   I responded back right away that we would respect her wishes and be extra sensitive.  She thanked me.  So, to have gotten that email from her just days before we were to leave for Jerusalem with no other place to say seemed just unbelieveable. I could have written back and said, "You made a verbal deal with me" but after prayer, we felt that we should respect her wishes and trust the Lord that He had something better for us.

The next day we took a walk down to the beach and were taken with its beauty.  The water and sand were clean, the sun was shining and the warm air gently wrapped her arms around us.  There was a row of huge, tannish-gold colored rocks on the beach, some of which were cut flat so you could sit on them.  I decided to lay on them, on my back so I could gaze up into the sky yet also turn to see the ocean.  The clouds in the sky were particularly stunning, large and white.  As I gazed up at them, they materialized themselves into the large form of a face - which looked just like the face of Jesus. I saw long hair, a beard, long nose and kind eyes.  While I was gazing at the face, Jesus spoke into my spirit and said, "I want you to enjoy my land while you are here. ENJOY MY LAND."

I turned to Thilo who was sitting next to me and I said, "Thilo, look up into the sky!  The clouds are formed into the face of Jesus."  He looked up and when I turned back to look up, the face was gone. No matter how I searched, I couldn't find the same formation.  I thought, "Oh, the clouds must have moved" but then I noticed that there was not a single breeze and not one of clouds was moving.
Then I knew.  It was truly Jesus.  He had spoken to me by showing me His face in the clouds.

I was still very upset about not having a place to stay in Jerusalem.  It was there that I really wanted to evangelize.  I knew from my previous internet searching that we could not afford the housing in Jerusalem and so we made the decision to go to Tiberias instead.  Yet my heart was unsettled.  "Why, Lord, why?" I was asking.  I knew we would want to explore all the footsteps of Jesus once we were in the Galilee region and that we might not make so much time for evangelizing.  Too often I find it hard to relax.  I want to work and work for my Lord and I worry too much about what our supporters think but He was not worried or wringing His hands wondering why we were not evangelizing.  He knew beforehand.  He understood and He was rejoicing that we had an opportunity to 'enjoy His land',  His beautiful Israel where He will one day return to rule and reign.

The next day we found a hostel in Tiberias and after our arrival, we rented a car and got to see Capernaum, the Jordan River, the Sea of Galilee and the Mt. of Beatitudes.  There were hardly any people where we stayed in Tiberias and it sort of felt like a ghost-town.  We passed out tracts and tried to have conversations with the cafe owners but it was not near my imaginings of what we might have done in Jerusalem.  If my Lord had not spoken to me and told me to "enjoy His land" I may not have not felt such joy in the beautiful flowers that were still blooming (in November) nor felt such peace in allowing myself to be a tourist.

Mt. of Beattitudes

I have to admit, I even failed at having perfect peace.  Now that I'm home and pondering on it all I wonder, why didn't I try and see more?  Why didn't I fully grasp what the Lord was saying to me?  He is so good and kind.  I can still feel the excitement in His voice when He said, "Enjoy my land."  Oh what wrong perceptions I have of Him.  How often I forget that He is living in complete joy and freedom.  How often I don't see His heart that longs to bless and give to me.  I am my own worst task-master.  He simply says, "Anyone who believes in me may come and drink!  For the scriptures declare, 'Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.'" (John 7:389).  All I have to do is look to Him, and allow that living water to flow out of me, whether it be sight-seeing or preaching on the street.  It can happen all the time, even when "enjoying HIS land."

The Sea of Galilee

I Take Pleasure In You

So, when I woke up this morning, I turned my thoughts to Jesus and I heard Him say, “Come away with Me.” Carolina and Dani were sound asleep at the table bed in our RV and Thilo and Bre were still sleeping up in the overhead bed. I got up, got dress, gathered my toilet supplies and walked along the boat pier to the public toilets. It felt wonderful to splash warm water on my face. I thought of the last place where we had camped and the public toilets only had freezing cold water.

Then I went across the street and sat at a picnic table to read my morning devotional. It was so good. It ministered to my heart about suffering. The scripture reference was from Psalm 4:1 “Thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress.” It said that good times bring do not deepen your inner self but suffering brings you closer to your brothers and sisters in the world. “Say not that the shades of the prison-house have fettered you; your fetters are wings – wings of flight into the heart of the universe. God has enlarged you by the binding of sorrow's chain.” George Matheson

As I was sitting and praying with my eyes closed, people passing by would stare at me curiously, so I decided to go for a walk. I walked down the end of a small jetty and sat on a big rock overlooking the Danish sea. It was beautiful. There was a flock of Swift sparrows flying in huge circles around me. I never saw them land and read later in BreAnna's bird book that they can go two years without landing! They sleep and eat while flying. I watched them swoop down to the water and eat the bugs and swoop back up into the air and repeat the pattern. They flew so fast that it was very fun to watch. They were black on top and their underbellies were white. I watched in delight for quite some time when suddenly the still, small voice said to me, “I take pleasure in you. Just like you are enjoying the birds so I enjoy you. I love to watch you eat, play and even sleep.”

I saw myself sitting on that rock, almost a giant compared to the birds. I have no idea what the birds thought of me or if they were even aware of me and I know for sure that they were totally unaware that I was taking pleasure in them. I always think that I have to do for God to take pleasure in me. Even though I have learned that He loves me just as I am, the idea never ceases to amaze me. I think I need to learn the truth a thousand times before it fully sinks in and becomes real to me. A small chink in my armor fell off and once again I was overwhelmed and in awe that the great God, creator of all the universe notices and loves ME!!

After a time, the birds all gathered themselves into a flock and flew way. I couldn't believe that they were ceasing their activity! I guessed that breakfast time was over. I turned to watch where they were flying off to and saw them high up in the sky flying in a huge circle. The sun caught their white underbellies and it seemed to me that they were shimmering.

I got up and started to walk back to our RV. As I walked I pondered on the fact that one of man kind's greatest joys is when someone takes pleasure in us. My son-in-law loves it when I laugh at his jokes. Real joy overwhelms him and that makes me happy too. Then I thought about how we feel if someone delights in us but we don't return their admiration. We can almost feel repulsed by them. We would rather they just go away and leave us alone. If the delight is not reciprocated, we do not enjoy their delight. So it is with the Lord. We need to take delight in Him to receive and enjoy His delight in us. The only way to take delight in the Lord is to get to know Him and for me the biggest way I have come to know Him is through reading about Him in the stories of the bible. When I read the bible, I learn about His faithfulness, justice, righteousness and mercy. I have learned that He is a God who experiences every emotion that we experience like love, jealousy and anger. He created food, beauty and our amazing bodies that can run, swim and enjoy intimate pleasures. We are created in His image and likeness, so we can know that He too loves beauty, activity and intense intimacy.

My Papa, my Lord, my companion enjoys me and I enjoy Him.

The Preacher that Failed

We were invited to preach on the streets with a very accomplished street preacher. I was excited. I felt that the Lord had given me a good little sermon and it would be the first time for me to get back out on the street since my son had gone home to Jesus. I had even prepared a small prop. We gathered in the square and I boldly volunteered to go first. BreAnna was my translator. Somewhere near the beginning of my sermon, everything went wrong. I had a hard time expressing a truth that I thought the Holy Spirit had given me. Then for some unexplainable reason, BreAnna started laughing while she was translating. I felt she was laughing at me. I was embarrassed and it was hard to recoup – for both of us. Someone was filming me and when I saw the video, I was holding my prop (which was a picture) upside down and I only had one earring on! I looked like a crazy person.

No one stopped to listen to me during my sermon and afterwards there was silence. I hung my head in shame and embarrassment. I felt like a complete failure and even more so after BreAnna and our friend preached......two very well-spoken people. They were brilliant and my friend couldn't stop complimenting Bre on her sermon. I felt as though I were sinking down into the mud. I tried to self-talk myself out of it. “Why are you focusing on yourself? You should be happy that the gospel was preached so amazingly by your daughter.” But no matter what I tried to tell myself and no matter how much I tried to pray, I couldn't seem to pull myself out of my funk.

I wondered if I had missed my calling and who was I to think that I could be a street-preacher? I cried that night in bed out of mortification and deep insecurity. I thought I might feel better the next day but I couldn't worship and couldn't hear anything from Jesus. The only thing I could hear was, “Call Charlotte” (not her real name). I called her and she immediately invited me to her house to spend the night. What a friend! We talked and watched a movie together and then I went to bed and cried some more.

The next morning my Father spoke to me. I was reading Acts 18 which says, “Meanwhile, a Jew named Apollos, an eloquent speaker who knew the scriptures well had arrived in Ephesus. He taught with an enthusiastic spirit and with accuracy. He refuted the Jews with powerful arguments in public debate. (Vs. 24-28).

When I read that I started feeling sorry for Paul. Here Apollos gets so much praise and Paul gets stoned and thrown out of cities. Then I remembered that Paul was not known as a good speaker.

“For some say, 'Paul's letters are demanding and forceful but in person he is weak and his speeches are worthless!” II Corinthians 10:19 That's what they were saying about the Apostle Paul! Wonderful, gifted Paul could not speak well.....just like me. I sat in bed with my coffee by my side, shaking my head, “Only you Lord could bring scripture to me that fits my feelings so accurately.”

In that same section of scripture Paul went on to say, “If you want to boast, then boast about the Lord. When people commend themselves it doesn't count for much. The important thing is for the LORD TO COMMEND THEM.” (Vs. 17-18).

The Lord spoke into my spirit, “Kim, I commend you. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks about you because I love you.”

Paul also said, “I may be unskilled as a speaker but I'm not lacking in knowledge.” II Corinthians 11:6. Paul was able to admit his weaknesses but he also knew what he knew: that Jesus Christ is Lord and he saved his soul. It's all about Jesus, not us.

Then Jesus spoke to me from II Corinthians 12:8, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” And again from Paul, “That's why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (vs. 10).

One of Paul's weaknesses was made PUBLIC – 'He can't speak well”.

Down through time Paul is now one of the most revered Apostles. He is exemplified, quoted and preached about. I find that so amazing against the back-drop that he was known as demanding, forceful and weak. Once again, I saw that I cannot measure my worth by the world's eyes but only by what my Father thinks of me. The Holy Spirit eased the sadness off my shoulders. I could relate to Paul and I saw with clarity that we can't all be good speakers or singers or writers or whatever but we can all know Jesus Christ and Him crucified.

Jesus also revealed that satan was attacking me. He was attacking my dreams and visions that are deep in my bosom to preach the gospel to the nations.

At that time period I was having the most wonderful times of morning worship and satan was angry about that as well. So, he brought a full onslaught attack of my person, gifts and callings. Oh how I thank the Lord for HIS VOICE that brought me out of my sadness and insecurity. What a Father we serve!

The next time I got up to preach, it was hard but I knew that deep down, my bosom was screaming, “If no one will tell them, how will they know?” So I preached from my heart and decided that it did not matter if I was eloquent or not. I knew I was sincere, that my motives were pure and I felt Jesus applauding from His throne.

'Call Me Dad'

Over time and without realizing it, I began to view God in a distorted fashion. I think it intensified after reading the account of Moses where, to my mind, God seemed utterly powerful and somewhat distant to man. I started envisioning him as a sort of Wizard of Oz with fire, anger and bellowing. I saw him as a bright force but not as a person.

The other day, while on my morning walk, I said, “Good morning, God” - envisioning Him as a huge furnace of fire; then, “Good morning Jesus” - seeing Him with all his love and laughter; and lastly, “Good morning Holy Spirit” - seeing Him as my guide and counselor.

Suddenly and unmistakably God said to me, “Call me Dad.”

I almost froze in my steps. He said, “From now on, don't call me 'God', call me 'Dad'. I am your loving Daddy.”

Tears filled my eyes when I realized how wrong I had been viewing my wonderful Dad. I was overwhelmed at the feelings of love that were vibrating all around me that I almost could not breathe. I realized, in a matter of seconds that I had still been looking to my earthly dad to meet my needs and take care of me (even though he is no longer able to do so) and that the picture of my heavenly Dad had been wrong.

In the last couple of years it seems like it has become popular for Christians to call God 'Daddy' or 'Papa'. I too joined in the chorus but it never felt right and always seemed a little fake to me. I have had times of inner-healing in my life where the Lord revealed his Father-hood to me and healed inner wounds but when He said, “Call me Dad” something inside permanently shifted. I realized that 'Dad” is the word I used to call my earthly father and that the Lord was saying clearly to me, “I want you to view me as your Dad, your own true Dad”.

After that morning we had a time of worship in Christiania and during worship He revealed himself to me in a vivid picture in my mind's eye. He was not a huge furnace of fire but He was a man who was laughing, stomping and dancing. I saw him in a place like a jungle and there was a lion next to him. He was roaring and laughing over our praise. I then saw some zebras and other wild animals next to Him but His strength and superiority over them was unmistakable. He was so strong and mighty but much more real and personal than a furnace of fire. I knew that He wanted to show me who He was and destroy the crazy image I had built up in my mind. Once again, I was overwhelmed and tears came to my eyes.

Now I not only see Jesus as Savior, my beautiful one, my joy and delight; nor do I only see the Holy Spirit as my guide, counselor, friend and comforter but now I have a correct 3-fold picture of the three-in-One. Mighty, everlasting 'God' is my Dad. He is a Dad who is strong and can stand among wild animals and roar; a Dad whose laughter shakes the earth; a Dad who loves his daughter and wants to care for her every need; and a dad who gives her gifts and surprises. He is a person with incredibly strong arms who longs to take care of me.

I don't know why it took so long for me to get this revelation of God. Perhaps it is because I am so aware of my earthly dad's frailty and that his time on earth is short. Perhaps it took years and years to see correct manifestations of Jesus and the Holy Spirit that I was finally ready for a more accurate image of the Father. I don't know all the reason's but I am so thankful that the God of all the universe saw me, spoke to me and revealed His great love for me. Now when I sing songs that have the word 'God' in them, I can't sing them that way. I have to replace 'God' with 'Dad' and I think everyone should do that, using the name of Father that is most comfortable. It helped to change everything for me. With every passing year, He wants us to know and love Him deeper.   

IN THAT DAY

I have always loved the verses in the Old Testament – especially in Isaiah that start with, 'In that day....'. I believe 'in that day' refers to the time when Jesus will return to earth to rule and reign. I made a list of some of the exciting things that will happen 'in that day' and I believe it is coming soon.  It will be glorious.

1. Jerusalem will be known as the 'Throne of the Lord'. All nations will go to Jerusalem and honor King Jesus. Jeremiah 3:17
2. Jews will return to Israel from all the places where they were scattered. Jeremiah 3:18
3. Jesus will be the God of all the families of Israel. Jeremiah 31:1
4. Jesus will be beautiful and glorious; the fruit of the land will be the pride and glory of all who survive in Israel. Isaiah 4:2
5. Lambs will find good pasture and fattened sheep and young goats will feed among the ruins. Isaiah 5:17
6. The Israeli survivor's will faithfully TRUST the Lord. Isaiah 10:20
7. The yoke of slavery and bondage will be broken. Isaiah 10:27
8. The wolf and lamb will lie down together; the leopard will lie down with the baby goats. The calf and the yearling will be safe with the lion and a child will lead them. Isaiah 11:6
9. Jesus will be a banner of salvation to all the world. The nations will rally to Him and Jerusalem will be glorious! Isaiah 11:10
10. The Lord will bring home his scattered people. Isaiah 11:11
11. We the redeemed will sing and shout praises. We will drink deeply from the fountain of salvation. Isaiah 12:1-5
12. The Lord will give His people rest from sorrow; fear; slavery; and chains. Isaiah 14:3
13. The Egyptians will be as weak as women. Isaiah 19:16
14. Five Egyptian cities will follow Yeshua and begin to speak Hebrew. Isaiah 19:18
15. There will be an altar to the Lord in Egypt and a monument to Yeshua at its border. Isaiah 19:19
16. Egypt and Assyria (Syria) will be connected by a highway and both countries will worship the Lord. Isaiah 19:23
17. The demons and proud rulers on earth will be punished and thrown into prison. Isaiah 24:21-22
18. The glory of the moon will wane and the brightness of the sun will fade. Isaiah 24:23
19. The Lord of Heaven's Armies will rule on Mount Zion. He will rule in great glory in Jerusalem in the sight of all the leaders of His people. Isaiah 24:23b
20. Everyone in the land of Judah will sing this song: Our city is strong! We are surrounded by the walls of God's salvation. Open the gates to all who are righteous; allow the faithful to enter. Isaiah 26:1-2
21. The Lord will take His terrible, swift sword and punish Leviathan, the swiftly moving serpent, the coiling, writhing serpent. God will kill the dragon of the sea. Isaiah 27:1
22. The great trumpet will sound and exiles will return to Jerusalem. Isaiah 27:13
23. The deaf will hear and the blind will see. Isaiah 29:18
24. Streams of water will flow from every mountain and stream. Isaiah 30:25
25. Ungodly fools will NOT be heroes; scoundrels will NOT be respected. Isaiah 32:5
26. Jesus will be our salvation and give wisdom and knowledge. Isaiah 33:6
27. No weapon formed against us will prosper. Isaiah 54:17
28. There will be no more need of sun or moon for Jehovah will the the Light! Isaiah 60:19
29. No one will be hurt or destroyed on His holy mountain. Isaiah 65:25
30. Jerusalem will become an immovable rock. Zechariah 12:3
31. War horses will panic but the Jews will find strength in the Lord. Judah will be like a fire that burns up all her enemies and Jerusalem will remain secure. Zechariah 12:4-6
32. The Lord will defend the people of Jerusalem and the weakest person will be as mighty as King David! All nations that come against Jerusalem will be destroyed. Zechariah 12:8-9
33. Sources of light will no longer shine, yet there will be continuous day. Zechariah 13:16
34. Life-giving waters will flow out from Jerusalem, half toward the Dead Sea and half toward the Mediterranean and the water will flow continuously. Zechariah 13:8
35. There will be ONE LORD and His name alone will be worshipped. Zechariah 13:9

SING A NEW SONG

A new song is sung all the time

At every moment and second it chimes

Hosanna!  Hosanna! the waves ring

A mighty cheer to Jesus they bring

Never a dull moment in heaven above

Like worker bees His children blaze with love

Creating, enjoying, exploring and doing His work

All to His glory; all to His praise

Loud songs of triumph they raise

Preparing for the time that He will ascend

Back down to earth to reign supreme

From Jerusalem He will be the whole world's KING

Thousands will hold His train when He comes down

All will serve Him making a joyful sound

"Family" - He calls us, "Dear brothers, sisters and kids

You are in Me and I in you."

Hasten the day!

Prepare your hearts

The King is coming and He'll never depart

God wants to be close to us.

In Numbers 28 the Lord requires of the Israelites a daily offering of two 1-year old lambs, (one in the morning and one in the evening) along with two quarts of flour mixed with 1 quart of pure olive oil, 1 quart of wine which had to be poured out with each lamb.

The Lord also required monthly sacrifices which were: two young bulls; 1 ram; seven 1-year old male lambs; 18 quarts of flour; 12 quarts of wine (dispersed with each animal) and 1 male goat.

As I was reading this, I was reminded of a book I read a couple of years ago called, The Devil's Cauldron.  It is the true story of a man who was heavily involved in witchcraft and whenever he did incantations or needed power, the demons would call for dark rum.  Sometimes he sprayed rum on the walls or spilled it out on the floor and threw a burning match on it but rum was always involved when great power was needed.

Maybe, demons were speaking to me as I was reading Numbers 28 but I said, "Lord all those sacrifices and the spilled out wine and oil sounds just like witchcraft!  I understand the animals and that there needed to be blood to atone for sin but I don't understand the flour and wine."

Right now, as I am writing this, I am realizing that it is not the Lord's ways that sound like witchcraft.....it is witchcraft copying and mocking what the Father had in mind from the very beginning.  But I digress....back to my story.

More often than not, when I ask the Lord an honest question from my heart, He ANSWERS and He came to me once again with His heart.  He told me that all of His motivation is dealing with humans is RELATIONSHIP.  He called for the blood sacrifices (as I knew) to atone for sin but He wanted to meet with His people, the Israelites every morning and evening.  He wanted them to acknowledge and come to Him.   Food was precious to the Israelites and as they gave it back to Him, He promised to pour back on them in abundance.

The offerings symbolized a MEAL and God the Father of the universe sat and ate with them!  He was (and is) always yearning for relationship.  It was as if He was saying, "In the morning come and eat with me and in the evening, come and eat with me."  Most people have meat, starch and wine with their meal and the sacrifices were the symbols of a meal.  First the blood is spilled to bring us into right relationship with God and then we can sit down with Him and have fellowship.

"Come now, and let us reason together," says the LORD, "Though your sins are as scarlet, They will be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They will be like wool." Isaiah 1:18 Amazing that our God, the God who created the heavens and the earth invites us to "reason" with Him.

Following those exciting thoughts, the Holy Spirit brought to my mind what New Testament offerings are:
"We have an altar from which the priests in the Tabernacle have no right to eat. Under the old system, the high priest brought the blood of animals into the Holy Place as a sacrifice for sin, and the bodies of the animals were burned outside the camp. So also Jesus suffered and died outside the city gates to make His people holy by means of His own blood. So let us go out to Him, outside the camp and bear the disgrace He bore. For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come, Therefore, let us offer through Jesus a CONTINUAL sacrifice of praise to God, proclaiming our allegiance to His name. And don't forget to do good and to share with those in need. These are the sacrifices that please God."               Hebrews 13: 10-16

Jehovah wants a CONTINUAL sacrifice of praise, not just morning and evening. Right now, I have a whole lot of fear about money (my lack of it) and I have been finding it hard to praise Him. Yet in reading the verses from Hebrews, I can see how my sacrifice of praise literally proclaims my allegiance to Jesus even in dark times, even when everything is not going my way and doesn't that bring Him even more glory?

So, He still wants or requires sacrifice today and just as in the Old Testament, it is still all about relationship. My fear keeps me from praising Him but when I praise Him despite my fear, I am drawn into His presence, right where He wants me to be. He wants me. He desires my heart. He wants me to be near to Him. Our God has such big arms and all He wants is to enfold us in them.

Grief-bonding in Belarus

Bre, Thilo and I were privileged to visit Belarus last May and I most enjoyed the delightful villages which were so charming.  Alex (our host) drove us slowly through two villages while we, armed with bibles and tracts, hoped to find people to talk to.

We saw an old man limping along with a cane and Alex stopped the car to chat with him.  He had weathered, brown skin and white hair flapping in the breeze.  He seemed eager to talk and we listened and smiled while Alex chatted to him in Belarusian.  They talked and talked and the next thing I knew the car door was opening and the man was getting into the seat next to mine.  I felt a small hesitation in my spirit.  I saw the big bottle of alcohol he was holding and I momentarily felt fear until Alex said to me, "Kim, he has lost a son."  I looked into his beautiful, blue eyes and felt such compassion.  I said, "Alex, will you ask him if we can pray for him?"  It took awhile for him to stop talking so she could ask him and he immediately said, "Yes."

This is where we picked up the old man

He looked me in the eyes and I began to pray.  I prayed with all the hurt and sorrow in my own heart over the loss of my dear son and I prayed that the God of all comfort would be a comfort to his heart.  I prayed that he would see Jesus clearly and that he would come to know him as his Savior.  I prayed that deep peace would come into his troubled soul.  When I finished praying, I looked into his eyes and he had small tears and began to speak, with Alex interpreting, "That was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.  Your voice was beautiful.  It sounded like fresh water pouring down or birds singing in the morning...." and as he talked tears of gratitude welled in my eyes and I knew that the Maker of heaven and earth had invaded our car and had come in a mysterious, supernatural way that transcended all language.

We drove the man to his home not far away and he got out of the car, clutching the bible we had given him and promising to read it aloud with his wife.  It felt like he was family as we warmly shook hands good-bye and promised to try and make a return visit.  He was all smiles as he ambled up his walkway and we drove away with joy in our hearts.


On another day while biking through a different village we came upon an older woman sitting on her bench just outside of her house.  She was portly with big, swollen legs and she had the cheeriest, warmest smile.  The flower garden, just behind her was beautiful and well-groomed.  I kept wondering how she did so much work with her stout body and I knew she had to haul water from the village well.   Sadly I did not get a picture but her home was similar to this house in the same village:

We began chatting, again through an interpreter and we learned that she too had lost a son!  I knew that it was no coincidence.  Suddenly, I was meeting people who had lost children.  Since, that time, this has continued in my life.  I don't recall that this ever happened to me before. Anyway, when she was told that I had lost a young son, she looked startled and she jerked her head to look at me.  She looked right into my eyes and both of our eyes filled with tears and we spontaneously embraced one another.  I asked if I could pray for her, she shook her head yes and we held hands as I prayed that she would know Jesus and that her soul would find comfort in His love.  She crossed herself after my prayer and we hugged once again.  She warmly invited us to return the next day and come into her house.  How I wanted to!  How I longed to see her again but it was not to be.

"Okay, Lord," I thought as I pedaled away on my bike.  "So, I know you use everything and now I see that you are using my grief as a link to others.  It is like a stepping stone right into their hearts.  For this, I can praise you."

Fresh tears pricked my eyes as I thought of my precious son and suddenly, I "saw" his joy and I knew that he was glad that his death could be used as a catalyst to draw others to his Jesus that saved him.

And all Nations will hate you because you are My followers. Matthew 10:22

Just before Jesus sent his best friends out to the villages of Israel He gave them instructions and told them to 'heal the sick, raise the dead, cure those with leprosy and cast out demons.'  He instructed them to take nothing along on the journey, not even the smallest change.  I am reminded of a book I read by a guy named, "Brother Andrew" and how he too was sent out by his christian training school without any money.  Not a single coin.  He was instructed to depend on God alone for his needs and the results were amazing.  (You can read about it in his book, "God's Smuggler.")

After Jesus gave basic instruction to His friends, He then spent a lot of time telling them that they WOULD BE HATED.  He goes into great detail saying that they will be whipped, thrown in jail, and that "ALL nations will hate you because you are my followers".  He even said that their own families would turn against them.

 When I read those verses, it was as if I saw a huge collision on earth. When the truths about the Kingdom of Jesus are declared, there is a clash.  Light starts to invade darkness and the darkness reacts with anger.  It is almost a given.  Darkness cannot bear the light.

Matthew Henry has this to say about some of the verses in Matthew 10:  Christ foretold troubles, not only that the troubles might not be a surprise, but that they might confirm their faith. He tells them what they should suffer, and from whom. Thus Christ has dealt fairly and faithfully with us, in telling us the worst we can meet with in his service; and he would have us deal so with ourselves, in sitting down and counting the cost. Persecutors are worse than beasts, in that they prey upon those of their own kind. The strongest bonds of love and duty, have often been broken through from enmity against Christ. Sufferings from friends and relations are very grievous; nothing cuts more. It appears plainly, that all who will live godly in Christ Jesus must suffer persecution; and we must expect to enter into the kingdom of God through many tribulations. With these predictions of trouble, are counsels and comforts for a time of trial. The disciples of Christ are hated and persecuted as serpents, and their ruin is sought, and they need the serpent's wisdom.

I haven't heard the phrase 'counting the cost' in a long time.  When I was first saved in high school, during the Jesus Movement, hundreds were coming to the faith and we talked about telling new converts to 'count the cost'.  Christianity is not for wimps, it's for warriors!!  Now we say things like, "Jesus has a wonderful plan for your life" which is true and I say it all the time but we are often forgetting the other side.  "Are you willing to suffer for Jesus?"

In my mind, Jesus cannot be any clearer or plainer when He speaks about persecution to His disciples and there is no doubt in my mind that He was thinking of you and I when He spoke.  "Students are to be like their teacher, and slaves are to be like their Master.  And since I, the Master of the household, have been called the prince of demons, the members of my household will be called by even worse names!"  Matthew 10:25

A new religion is creeping into the world and it is called Universalism.  All of its members claim to be Christians and to love Jesus.  One common theme I have seen among all of them is that they long to be loved.  If they see a fellow Christian being hated, they will immediately blame the Christian and tell him that he is in the wrong.

Two glaring examples are Rob Bell and Joel Osteen.  Rob Bell was so embarrassed by street evangelists that he made a video mocking a Christian who evangelized with a bull-horn.  In my opinion, Rob just wants to be loved.  He couldn't bear that anyone would lump him in with nerdy, uncool, brash Christians.  I have to confess that I don't know a whole lot about Rob Bell or Joel Osteen but my impression with both men is that they long to be loved.  Joel takes it so far that he is afraid to even say what the bible says about homosexuality.

Don't get me wrong.  I want to be loved as well.  I can't stand it when people don't like me.  It hurts. However, I hope that I will never compromise truth for my own longings.  Fear stops me all the time from being bold in my testimony for Jesus but I want to be counted worthy to suffer for Jesus.  To be honest, I rarely suffer for Jesus and I do long to be loved when I am on the streets evangelizing.  I am sure the disciples were loved when they healed the sick and cast out demons!  So, maybe, for the Christian both sides of the coin will be true.  We will be loved and people will be grateful to us for helping to usher them out of darkness and into the light.  On the other hand, we will be hated and sneered at.  The worst I usually get is cursing, jeering and contempt and that is when I say things like, "Jesus is God" or "Jesus is the only path to salvation."  The light of my words hits in the darkness of others and demons rise up to the challenge.

To sum up:  If we are receiving no persecution for our faith, are we making our lives too comfortable? We should not be embarrassed of our faith or be afraid of being hated.  We should always stand up for Jesus and be true soldiers of the cross.

“I could not help but think that somewhere along the way we had missed what was radical about our faith and replaced it with what is comfortable.” 
― David Platt, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream


“When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.” 
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship

Spurgeon talks of the perseverance of one open air preacher, John Furz, who encountered a bit of opposition when he preached.

“Once recommenced, the fruitful agency of field-preaching was not allowed to cease… The preachers needed to have faces set like flints, and so indeed they had. John Furz says: ‘As soon as I began to preach, a man came straight forward, and presented a gun at my face; swearing that he would blow my brains out, if I spake another word.
 However, I continued speaking, and he continued swearing, sometimes putting the muzzle of the gun to my mouth, sometimes against my ear. While we were singing the last hymn, he got behind me, fired the gun, and burned off part of my hair.’

“After this, my brethren, we ought never to speak of petty interruptions or annoyances.” 
—From Charles Spurgeon’s sermon: Open-Air Preaching—A Sketch of its History and Remarks Hereon

To The Streets in Southern Germany

To The Streets in Southern Germany

At the end of March we traveled to Albstadt in southern Germany and stayed for one month with our good friends, Rolf and Andrea Kastle. Rolf and Andrea's church is called BGG Zollernalb in Hechingen and is related to the "Gospel Forum" in Stuttgart. It is in an area with three villages: Hechingen, Ebingen and Balingen Rolf's church is in Hechingen and a sister church is in Ebingen. They have a vision to plant a third church in Balingen. There is a main BGG church in Stuttgart from which these churches were birthed. The whole area is beautiful. Big tree-covered mountains surround darling villages which are tucked down in the valleys. The people work hard and you see the pay-off in their beautiful homes and cars.

Rolf & Andrea

Rolf is a very hard-working man. He is a landscape architect, full-time pastor of the church and father to four children. Two of the children are out of the home and two boys still living at home. Rolf has the most fun-loving spirit and was always eager for whatever task was at hand. Andrea is calm, serene and full of love and wisdom. She loved to worship and every morning she had her guitar and could be found singing her heart out to Jesus. They welcomed us into their home as if we were long-lost family. It was hard for us to launch out on the mission field after Gabe's passing but the Lord gave us that beautiful and safe environment to get back on our feet. Not only did we minister but we were ministered to. One powerful night, Rolf prayed over me and asked forgiveness as a man for all that my ex-husband had done to me and he prayed healing into my life about Gabe. On another night, he adopted Thilo as his son and then called the men who were gathered to surround Thilo with prayer. It was so intimate and amazing to watch. They prophesied and sang over him. At the end they picked him up by the legs and hands and swung him as a father would a son and threw him on the couch!

I got to teach on prayer to the leader's of the church and one of the things I shared was how missionary Jackie Pulinger would walk around Hong Kong just speaking in tongues. From doing just that, the Holy Spirit worked powerfully through her to birth a ministry to drug addicts. I shared how Bre and I decided to do the same thing in Berlin and how we as well had amazing results. They were excited and wanted to try it. So we all met in a village called Balingen where they would like to plant a church. We broke off into groups of 2 and 3 and I instructed them that for the next hour no german or english could be spoken. We would prayer walk Balingen, speaking in tongues and listening to where the Holy Spirit would like us to go. Pastor Rolf and I went with a sweet older lady and we ran into three different people that they knew. We were able to pray over one lady who had been to Rolf's church; we gave Christian tracts to a Muslim couple that the older lady knew; and we encouraged a Christian worship leader that Rolf hadn't seen in a long time. We all returned to the square after one hour excited to share what the Holy Spirit had done. Almost every one had a story and out of this prayer time came an initiative to do a street outreach right there in the main town square of Balingen. The word “party” came and we decided to have a big street party in anticipation of Easter and celebrating His resurrection.

Street Party Outreach

The party street outreach was all we could ever have wanted or hoped for. Rain was predicted for the day but we had beautiful sunshine! We had helium balloons for the kids; a water area that Rolf (a landscape architect as well as Pastor) designed for the kids complete with a small fountain; tables with champagne and crackers; face painting; live music courtesy of Thilo; soap bubbles courtesy of Bre; and free hugs from me. The atmosphere was alive and festive. We had all decided to wear fancy clothes which added to the fun. One of the church's evangelists, Uwe gave away almost all of our impressive Easter evangelism tracts and had many good conversations with people. In addition, almost everyone had one good spirit-led conversation. Thilo not only sang but preached the gospel several times over the microphone.

Rolf's water-fun for the kids

Having fun at our street evangelism

Toni & Netty

We had the privilege of meeting and befriending a wonderful couple from the church – Toni & Annet. They have a business in Ebingen called 'Second Life' which has the double meaning of buying second hand goods and taking on a new life. They sell used furniture, household items and knick-knacks. In fact their shop is packed to the brim with wonderful antiques and almost any household item you can imagine. Annet (Netty) let us take anything we wanted. What joy! It's a good thing we live in an R.V. otherwise I know we would have been tempted to take too many things. I got a beautiful blue candle holder and Bre found a cute apron and hat. We loved Toni & Netty. We loved their ideas and vision. They have art days in their shop where people can come and paint so we spent two wonderful days just painting in the shop and chatting with people who came in to browse. Netty always had tea and cookies on hand for us. Toni is a brilliant artist and has painted many pictures for the kingdom. The first time I saw one of his pictures I gasped because it was so amazing. It was an honor to get to spend time with him and hear the story behind his amazing art. Thilo was so inspired that he decided to actually interview Toni and get him and his art on camera. He gave us permission to take one of his pictures and print postcards which we then passed out on the street with the name of the church and a poem on the back.

Lunch with Netti & Toni

Toni's picture we made into a postcard

Carrying the Cross

One day the three of us decided to go to the City Center and preach the gospel. I felt led to play the guitar and sing some songs and while I was doing so a Muslim man tried to stare me down. His face conveyed the thoughts, “You cannot speak of Jesus in our city.” I asked him if I could pray for him and he sort of leaped away from me in fear. I decided to just start praying and while I was doing so he began twirling in circles as if to twirl away our prayers and then he took off fast down the street. From that encounter and the fact that the city had just installed some very questionable sculptures that conveyed sexual-New Age overtones, Bre got her cross-initiative from the Lord.

Rolf supplied the wood which was a large tree branch which Bre used to make a cross. She also made a beautiful sign which she hung over the cross that said, “Jesus is the Only God” in German and Turkish. We drove to Ebingen with the cross taking up most of the room in the back of our RV and parked near the city center. We got out and with Bre carrying the cross we began walking in what we thought was the direction of the City Center. We went the wrong way and had to re-trace our steps but we felt that it was God's way of carrying the cross where He wanted it seen. Bre felt a great joy carrying the cross and a supernatural boldness. As we passed people we saw them reading our sign, either out loud or to themselves and we were excited that the truth of the gospel was being spoken on their lips whether they believed it our not. A lot of people smiled at us while others looked at us disdainfully. We felt that what we did was a prophetic declaration to the town that the devil's reign was over and it was time for Jesus people to take their stand.The next day we carried the cross through Balingen, the city where Rolf would like to plant a new church and at the end of our walk we placed the cross on the empty building that Rolf would like to rent for church services. The cross looked beautiful leaning up in a corner of the building and it looked right out onto the main street of Balingen.

Bre & Kim with the Cross

Small Groups

We attended all four of the small groups in the church and were privileged to teach or share. I spoke one night on prayer and another time about the relationship between Jesus and John the Baptist. Bre spoke about positioning yourself as a child in the Kingdom of God and Thilo gave an encouraging talk about not giving up. Twice we attended a weekly prayer meeting which prayed for the city. It met in an older ladies house named Ilsa who found the Lord in her older age through her daughter Angelica who lives right next door. Max - an 86 year old man led worship on the guitar which was very sweet and rich. I fell in love with Max. His love for Jesus was palpable and he was passionate about doing things for God. We loved hearing his stories of the war and how he escaped as a young 17 year old.

Max leading us in worship

Prayer Walking

We went prayer walking with Andrea and a woman named Elka twice. They took us to the mountains overlooking the city and both times we had powerful prayer times. We also went on a LONG hike with Rolf, walking from their house all the way to the top of a mountain which was across the small valley from their house. It seemed impossible when we looked at the distance but in the end it wasn't so bad. The hard part was at the end, making it up the steep part of the mountain. We were glad we pushed through. At the top was a bench and a small box was attached to a tree that had tracts inside for people to read. We were thankful that Rolf called Andrea to come and pick us up! We walked back down the mountain and a little ways into the valley where she met us.

Preaching

We were humbled and blessed when Rolf asked us if we would like to preach. It's not every day that you come across a Pastor so willing to share his pulpit and with women as well! I took the first Sunday, Bre the second and Thilo was privileged to preach on Easter Sunday. Rolf always made it known that we were available to pray for people after the service and each time we loved praying and prophesying over them.

24-7 BURN (Worship)

We also presented the idea of doing a BURN and the church took that on. Rolf rented a room and Andrea organized 4 sets of worship teams for the 6-hour Burn. Bre and I opened with the first hour set – she on piano, me on guitar and Thilo on cajon. We helped implement art at the Burn which was something new for the church. Initially Rolf couldn't quite wrap his brain around the idea of doing art in the same room as worship but in the end he loved it along with everyone else. Toni did an amazing picture and was often seen dancing while he painted. He presented the finished painting to a woman named Slobadanka at her birthday party and she received it with thankful tears. We were blessed when the Pastor from BGG Ebingen came to the Burn along with Hartmut (the former Pastor) and his wife. At the end of the six hours, no one could believe how fast the time went and we all felt full of joy.

Hartmut

You don't find many men like Hartmut! When we first met him three years ago we were impressed that after the all-church banquet he was in the kitchen washing dishes and running around to see if anyone wanted more coffee. I don't know if I have ever seen a head-Pastor with such humility. He has such a big heart for people that he resigned the Pastorate and began ministering to down and out people struggling through life, often with addiction problems. Step by step the Lord led him till now he runs a house with former addicts. They live together in community and help each other stay clean. We were invited one evening to have dinner and fellowship with them. It turned out to be such a rich evening as we got to hear their testimonies. Afterwards, I felt led to give one of the ladies my “Hopes Alive” T-shirt which the three of us had gotten in the United States from a friend who came out of addiction and designed the shirt and started a business. The lady was so appreciative that we felt led to bless the whole house with T-shirts. Hopefully it will be soon that they are delivered to them from the United States!

Hope's Alive T-Shirt

Uwe

Another amazing person in Southern Germany is Uwe. We met him three years ago when we first went to Rolf's church to teach on evangelism. Uwe was eager. He had never evangelized before and he had such a teachable spirit. On this trip, we heard his testimony and were deeply touched to find that he was rejected by his whole family because of his faith in Jesus. He came out of a deep involvement in the New Age religion and was delivered from many things. I have rarely met such a joyful, humble man. Likewise we loved his wife, Slobadanka who also shared her amazing testimony of coming out of a gypsy background. She could write a book. Uwe works in a home were mentally ill people live together and are considered hopeless cases. He invited us to come visit the home on Easter day when he was working. When we arrived, Uwe met us at the door with his big smile and ushered us into the kitchen area. There were about 8 people waiting for us and the table was laid with cake and coffee. Some of the people seemed thrilled that we were there while others seemed angry or confused. We all introduced ourselves and made small talk while we ate our cake. Then Thilo started singing a fun song about loving Jesus and they all started clapping and singing along. It was wonderful and the more we sang the more joy seemed to come down. A few of them left the room but most of them seemed to be deeply ministered to. We got to lay hands on and pray for a woman who was extremely disabled due to drugs. She was open for prayer and healing and I made a commitment to keep her in my prayers. Our hearts went out to Uwa for working in such a hard, spiritually oppressive place. He was so loving and amazing to the people and we felt it was important that we keep him in our prayers.

Fellowship

Besides all the ministering we did, we spent a lot of time being invited to people's homes for lunch or dinner as well as being taken out as tourists. We got to see the Alps and we were taken to some caves deep under the earth with many stalagmites. One thing I will never forget is the tour guide asked if anyone would want to sing as the particular cave we were in had good acoustics. Someone offered that his girlfriend could sing but she was too shy. Then Bre said, “Thilo can sing!” Thilo stepped forward, took a deep breath and began to belt out, “Then sings my soul, my Lord my God to Thee, How great Thou art, How great Thou art!” The sound resonated around us and in those few seconds the glory of God came down. It was wonderful. Through that we met another Christian and Thilo was able to share our faith with some other people.

So our time in southern Germany came to an end and it was with many tears and hugs that we said goodbye to our family. We believe we will be back and we pray that someday we can join them on one of their outreaches to Africa.

My friend Kahal

York - dog Spock - and Kahal

This picture was taken the first day that I met Kahal back in 2009.  We were working with YWAM's Summer of Service that year and we came up with the idea to walk around Boxhagener Park like Joshua did with the city of Jericho.  We were a group of 20 and we gathered some noise-makers such as tamborines, whistles and some big spoons on pans.  We walked around the permimeter of the park 6 times while praying softly to ourselves - not a work spoken.  The 7th time around - we let out a big WHOOP! and began making noise and celebrating Jesus.  I'll never forget seeing some of the men we had come to know in the park, standing on the benches and peering over the hedges to see what all  the noise was about.  When they saw Bre and I they said, "Oh, it's just the Christians!"

But one young guy whom I had never seen before and had the biggest grin spread across his face came out of the park and over to us.  At that point, we began singing, "All we are saying is give Christ a chance......" and Kahal sang with us and wanted to march around with us which he did.  When we were finished circling the park, we went inside and sat down in the middle.  Kahal joined us and pulled out his poetry notebook and began to share his poetry with me and so began our friendship.

After that, we saw Kahal almost every time we came into the park which we did about once a week to take in cookies, smiles and the love of Jesus.  One day he told me that his bike had just been stolen.  I felt so bad for him and offered to pray for a new one.  As I was praying, the Holy Spirit reminded me that I had a bike sitting in our courtyard that I wasn't using and that I should offer it to him.  I did and he said he would take it.  He followed me home and I gave him the bike.  He seemed so pleased.  About a month later, I came into the park during the Sunday flea-market and I first saw Kahal trying to avoid me, ducking his head down and acting embarrassed.  Then I noticed my bike.  There it was for sale.  He was so embarrassed.  I told him, "Kahal, I gave that bike to you with no strings attached.  It is yours to do with as you please."

When the summer was over, Kahal disappeared and I heard that he went back to Ireland.  The following Spring, there he was again in the park.  We greeted one another with smiles and hugs.  A couple of months later he announced that he was getting married!  He had met a girl in the park and they did get married.  It didn't last long - maybe a couple of months.

He stayed in Berlin that Winter and at that time, we began having dinners in our then cafe - der Garten.  We invited Kahal and his brother who had joined him in Berlin.  They also had a friend, Osian that we met as well.  They began coming into der Garten once a week for a hot meal.  Once time we decided to show them "The Passion of Christ" movie.  They seemed to watch it with much interest.  I explained things to them every so often.  When he was dying on the cross, I explained to them that He GAVE His life for them, for all of us to take the punishment of our sins.

They dissapeared once again and we didn't see them until the following summer.  This time we had started doing our home-church in the park.  Every Sunday we took in a huge blanket with our guitar, bongo, bibles, drinks and small signs that said, "Free Prayer".  While we were worshipping, Kahal came over and joined us.  After awhile, Thilo decided to explain the gospel to him - once more.   I had shared with him many times but this time, he was ready.  He listened to Thilo and then prayed to ask Jesus into his heart.  We all had such great rejoicing!  After that, we didn't see him much and we weren't sure how strong his commitment to Jesus was.

Just three weeks before I was to leave Berlin and start traveling around Europe, I saw Kahal one last time.  It was near my home.  I was approaching the U-Bahn when I saw a familiar looking face and suddenly realized it was Kahal.  He noticed me about the same time and both of our faces broke into huge grins and we hugged each other.  He looked completely different.  Gone was the jewelry that once hung all over his body.  Gone was the ever-present cap.  In their place was a man with shorter hair and clean looking clothes.  He told me that he was pursuing a job in carpentry.  "Can you believe that?"  he said.  He told me that he hadn't taken drugs in a long time and his only bad habit was cigarettes.  Then he let me know that a lot of the changes were due to God.  He acknowledged God and that just made my day.  We hugged companionably and I knew in my soul that the Father was blessing me with this gift of Kahal.  The Father was letting me know that our work was not in vain.  Kahal was walking slowly toward the Light.  I loved bumping into my friend like that.  I told him that we were leaving Berlin and I really doubt that I will see him again until I see him in heaven.  I had joy on that day.....a great joy overwhelming and bubbling over.  It was worth it all.